Monday, January 23, 2012

Sometimes, a girl just needs a moment.

1.23.12, Caribou Coffee – Sometimes, a girl just needs a moment for herself with her pen and her notebook. Empty pages. To fill with whatever comes out of her hand. Out of her heart. Moments like those, her head is almost never in it. It's there, yes, but only trying to make sense of the paragraphs, sentences, words, morphemes. What do they really mean? Only her heart can tell.

In her heart, the puzzle is being put together – piece by piece. At times, scattered all over the place, but as she has lived and learned, she always comes back to knowing that it will be well organized again. As organized as it can be, that is.

Once the wall has now fallen, she is thinking that it might be time to stop all the lies. It might be time to come to peace with the fact that hers is a heart to be shared, that she could never live a whole life just keeping it to herself.

And that's neither bad nor scary.

The ice was just an illusion. And always will be. What she has is a river, a lake, an ocean full of emotions.

She can dive into the darkest blue or the clearest turquoise. Struggle with the storms or follow the wild waves. The seemingly bottomless sea whispers. It screams, it glitters, it takes her out on adventures that send rushes of adrenaline through her whole system. With her eyes wide open, she doesn't miss a thing.

She will never make it on to dry land, because that's not where she belongs. Her journey is out at sea and how could that ever be bad? Or scary? She has always been a good swimmer and she loves a big ocean. The salty water tickles her skin, kisses her lips, rocks her to sleep. She loves it. She loves.

Sometimes, a girl just needs a moment for herself with her pen and her notebook. Empty pages. Where her heart floats out and reveals its true self. And she knows, that it will always, always be okay.

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