Monday, July 4, 2011

The men who makes me question my choices.

There are those women who always need a man by their side to be able to identify themselves. I bet you know a few of them. Those who know me, know that I am not one of those women. Being Miss Expert In Longdistance Relationships, I don't even know if I could handle a man next to me 24/7. I would probably suffocate.

However, there are three men in my life, who I would love to have next to me, at least very close to me, every day of the week - the nephews. Whenever I start to question my dream life of being out on the go, I think about all the time apart from these three amazing little men, 7, 5 and 1,5 years old.

My heart aches when I think about missed out birthday parties, how I won't be able to see that happy smile when I pick wild strawberries for them or how I won't get the chance to answer questions like "What is a carbon dioxide and what does it actually look like?". Well, not that I was ever really able to answer that last question, but you get my point.

My point is, that I sometimes wonder what I'm doing, when I dream about being anywhere else but here, close to my beloved family. Luckily, I don't just end up with a big question mark on that one. I know why I do this, going to the US for example. It's because I have to. I have to constantly step out of my comfort zone. I need to do all these unexpected moves and follow my instincts. I need to strengthen my legs, sharpen my elbows and my brain on my way to find out where I want to be.

Wherever I will be, these three men will always be close to my heart. And in some way, they keep my feet on the ground, connect me to reality when I'm lost. It's amazing how they speak to me, how important they are. And when I come back from the states, there will be yet another toddler waiting to recieve my unconditional love. Until I see him or her, I have to go out and sail new water, explore new ground. I have to, just have to.

No comments:

Post a Comment