Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Between love and good bye.

Dear reader,

I am sorry for neglecting you. I've been busy elsewhere. I've been in Happy Land and Happy Place. I've been celebrating myself and one of my best friends with a big birthday party with family and friends. From early family dinner, to live music, to dance, to tequila frog, to swimming when the sun was rising.

I've been playing with my prince in the sun. Kissing him and telling him I'm always close, even if I'm a thousand miles away. I've been helping out with my sister's wedding. I've been driving around, buying things, baking and decorating 120 cupcakes, singing and serving guests. I've been having a blast! I've been celebrating my oldest brother's birthday. And La Grande Finale, Saturday night - when the wedding ceremony was finished, I had informed the waiters about all the dinner details and arranged the last flower - I took a drink in my hand, sat down with nice company and enjoyed an amazing evening. So much love, so much laughter, so much of every thing you want from life.

And now. I'm back in Gothenburg. In emotional roller coaster. Somewhere between love and good bye. Feeling excitement and hunger. Curiosity and lust. But at the same time a little bit of that awkward stab in my chest. The feeling of "What are you doing, Milon? Why are you leaving all the loved ones behind?"

Well, no matter how much I love you, this is something I just have to do. It's not for you, it's for me. I cannot explain it, it's a feeling in my heart. After such an amazing week, my heart is all filled up with love and that gives me strength to keep on dancing on my own.

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